11/11/24-11/16/24

Note to self: Just remember that you’re flesh and blood.

I am capable of great emotional depth, that can appear swiftly and strongly like an unforeseen storm out at sea. Endless waves crashing upon my heart and mind. However, I am at the same time empty, devoid of it. Certain things move me, mesmerize me, entrance me. Others, which seemingly carry the same weight, do not. Sometimes to my own surprise. I am very much living subjectiely, giving meaning where I see fit. Sometimes doing so unconsciously. Is this unrealized selfishness?

Life is vitality. In some ways this is all we have. We must move, we must love, we must laugh, cry, fuck, fight, sing, dance. All while spiraling towards oblivion. One must never lose the urge to be vital, even for a second. At the same time one must check signs of vitality around them. Is your circle feeding you or starving you? Family, friends, colleagues. Everyone is subject to search.

I realize that photography and identity is going to be a larger, long form conversation and debate. Mostly with myself, in silence. Nothing but the sound of the shutter being pressed. Am I the same person when I photograph, and if not, where do the differences lie? What brings about this other self. Does it matter? Does any of it matter?

After all, I’m just flesh and blood.